How To Show Up Authentically When Life Is Hard

How To Show Up Authentiocally When Life Is Hard

How To Show Up Authentically When Life Is Hard

Given the recent U.S. election results, many of us are struggling. Even though many of us have gone through times when we couldn't bring our true selves to work, due to various reasons such as health problems, personal struggles, or job-related stress, this one feels extra hard.

Given the recent U.S. election results, many of us are struggling. Even though many of us have gone through times when we couldn't bring our true selves to work, due to various reasons such as health problems, personal struggles, or job-related stress, this one feels extra hard.

The Bowman Foundation's recent study found that 73% of employees report having a mental health disorder, and only 27% say they've disclosed their diagnosis to their employers. This is perhaps due to past experiences or the fear of retaliation, people are afraid to be their full selves at work. This means that a vast majority of employees are suffering from burnout or mental- -health issues, yet they do not feel psychologically safe sharing that with their employers.

Holding back from expressing your full self at work has consequences which are 5 major ones:

1. Work may feel less fulfilling, leading to reduced job satisfaction.

2. Reduced contribution, due to not being able to fully engage.

3. People cannot see your full potential; it can fuel inaccurate assumptions about you.

4. It can create a barrier to connecting with others.

5. Suppressing your authenticity increases stress and risk of burnout.

The Bowman Foundation's recent study found that. 

TAllies Create Space for Authenticity

Allies create space for hard conversations and encourage authentic dialogue. My allyship with Frans helped me uncover the power of authenticity through sharing and embracing the messiness of life together, not alone. To better understand this power of authenticity when life is hard, it is important to:

1. Own your story

2. Offload

3. Shift your mindset

How authentically do you show up at work? How much can you be your full self at work? Be honest. The answer is likely that you're not doing it as often as you might like to. That is because we often mask hardships for fear that people will think less of us or use them against us. Or they might be afraid to share their vulnerabilities due to deep-rooted fears of vulnerability, or past negative experiences sharing their difficulties.

According to Simmons University's Institute for Inclusive Leadership, when people feel a sense of belonging, they are 70% more likely to be engaged because they can be more of their authentic selves at work. Undoing beliefs is not easy.

Own Your Story

Knowing that others are also experiencing mental hardships can encourage others to step into their authenticity. You are not alone! And by sharing their stories they might inspire others to share their stories. Even the seemingly stoic American National Football League has been campaigning to dismantle negative stereotypes about mental health by providing players and staff with mental health resources and tools like storytelling.

The critical balance with your story is sharing it in a way that inspires others without retraumatizing yourself or projecting pain onto the audience. There is often a nuanced and complex dance between authenticity and vulnerable, painful emotions. People want to hear stories, even sad stories, that show bravery and courage and have a takeaway that the listener can learn from and be inspired by.

A few years ago, I was asked to give a keynote at a women's leadership conference. I chose to speak about the inspiration my late mother had on my life. I candidly shared my experiences with grief and the mental health challenges I experienced after my brother's death. An ally in the audience came up to me afterward and hugged me with tears in his eyes and said it was such a sad story. While I intended to inspire the audience, the story was so raw that it had the opposite effect: instead of getting people in the room excited and inspired, they felt sorry for me instead.

And start my own business focused on allyship? Rather than leave the audience deflated, this version is more likely to inspire others to channel their pain points into aha moments for others to learn from and emulate.

Offload

Jhone met Gerhard in a period when Gerhard faced a serious challenge: his little sister was very ill and needed a lot of help and he was the only person in the family to provide the care. This impacted how much work he could handle per day. Meanwhile, he tried to give the impression to his colleagues that he was working at full capacity, which was not the reality, and instead, made him feel more insecure. Gerhard agreed he had to lower expectations and offload some duties for now, but it felt like he was letting down his colleagues.

One day, jhone asked him, "Do you believe that your colleagues are showing up day after day feeling and working at 100%?" Gerhard thought about it and started to realize that on several occasions he noticed other team members not being at their best. Gerhard discussed this in a team meeting and several colleagues admitted they have had similar experiences. What an eye-opener it was for Gerhard! The team realized that the workload distribution was seldom on par. So, work could be shifted to a colleague who has some free capacity at the moment. The group shared some potential alternatives, which led to two colleagues offloading several assignments and one other asking a colleague to help out.